Dust yourself off...

Have you ever felt the light inside? When you know you were made for something? I always thought there was some contribution I would make to this world, but until I was thirty six years old - I tried to be someone else.

I was an outcast big time. School sucked after 5th grade. When I entered middle school and the popular girls were the ones with the boyfriends and the big hair. I learned that I was invisible to the boys and shamed by the girls. That was when everyone was straight. Then in high-school being bisexual was cool, but I still never got asked on any dates, ever. Not once.

By the time I was a young woman I’d discovered that my sexuality was introverted at best. I had very little confidence and poor self image, developing an eating disorder to try to cope with the empty feeling inside. Something I’ve never admitted outside a very close circle.

Since I lost my virginity, I’ve been plagued by these self-conscious insecurities that restrict my pleasure during sex. Not to say sex can’t be fun - even great, but I just never got the same release as I did when I masturbated. I have to be clear, I had sex, a lot before I got married - but my entire adulthood I disassembled my shower taps for the most pleasure for my lady bits.

Fast forward to 2015, I was nine years into a dysfunctional marriage and had to leave.

The light inside me had almost burnt out and I knew I couldn’t reach my full potential continuing down the path I was on. No one seemed surprised at our separation, we were terrible together.

So I started BOA toys, that’s B-O-A as in Better Off Alone. Because everyone needs some alone time.

Justine Naiman